174: More Volunteers, Jesus-Style: Developing People, Not Just Programs

In this powerful opening session of the Small Church KidMin + Youth Ministry Conference, host Laurie Graham explores volunteer recruitment through a Jesus-centered lens. 

She challenges ministry leaders to shift from merely recruiting volunteers to developing people, emphasizing the importance of seeing and valuing individuals. 

Drawing on personal stories and biblical insights, Laurie discusses how small churches can create meaningful ministry experiences by focusing on:

• relationships
• emotional health
• genuine care 

This episode offers a refreshing perspective on building volunteer teams that goes beyond traditional church programming, encouraging leaders to see volunteers as part of their ministry, not just a means to an end.

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Transcript

Laurie Graham: 0:01

Hey, welcome to the small church ministry podcast, where we help volunteers and ministry leaders experience less stress, more joy and greater impact as we share strategies that actually do work in smaller churches. I'm your host. Laurie Graham, let's dive in. You. You. Hey, hey. Welcome to another episode of the small church ministry podcast. Last weekend, we had an amazing time at one of our online conferences. This one featured all sorts of tips and helps for children's ministry and youth ministry in small churches. We're going to be sharing the opening session with you today. It was called more volunteers. Jesus style way to develop your team. This opening session featured a lot of mindset shifts before we dug into a lot of practical tips and things that are working today in smaller churches all over the world. So sit back and enjoy. So we're going to go ahead and kick off the conference. In this first session, we're gonna tell you a little bit about who we are. We're definitely gonna set the tone for the day. We will touch our foot into volunteers, which is the main thing I'll be speaking about from the main stage at today's event. I know some of you are brand new. Some of you have been to many of our conferences, will tell you why we're a little unique as well. But before we do that, I would love to have Shanika just open us up in prayer,

Shineka Dixon: 1:25

absolutely. Let's pray. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Thank you Lord. Thank You God, Lord God, we just bless you, we praise you, and we honor you. We come before You, Lord God, blessing your name and lifting you up. We just praise you because you are God and you are God alone, Lord God. We just pray over this conference. We pray for other over every person that's involved. We pray Lord over all of the speakers and all of the attendees, even those who are working behind the scenes and who have led up to this point. We're praying for your direction and for your guidance. We pray, Father for your peace. And we just pray, Lord God, that each person who is a part would receive from you in the way that you would have us to receive. And Lord, I just pray that you help us to calm our our busyness. You help us to calm all of the things that are going on in our lives. And you just speak, Lord God, ever so clearly to us, and we bless you, Lord in Jesus name, Amen,

Laurie Graham: 2:26

amen, amen. And hang on the stage with me just for a minute. Shanika, um, you know we, if you're new to us, we are an interdenominational organization, and when we say interdenominational, we mean interdenominational. And I was so struck, Shanika, as you were praying, that some people don't pray like you pray. And for some people, prayer is very quiet and very meditative. And I just want to say, no matter where you're coming in from, you belong here if you love Jesus and you love kids and you're open to what God has for you. The pre show, I think we had Baptist Pentecostal Lutheran, you know, we've got everything in here you all, and no matter where you're coming in from, we're unique. And before I tell a story, Shanika, this is why I kept you on the stage. What else do you think is different about us as an organization, so I just said, We're interdenominational. What else do you find different? And by the way, in the chat, if you've been around us, you've been to our conferences, so many people will say this is so different than anything I've experienced. Why? What is different about us from what you've experienced before? I'd love to hear your chat. And then after Shanika shares, we're going to jump into a few stories as well. Shanika, what? What for you? Was different, sure.

Shineka Dixon: 3:44

So I love the fact that we are multicultural and we're multi ethnic, multi age, like we there's so there's so much diversity, not just from a denominational standpoint, but there's so much diversity age and backgrounds, and just like Laurie mentioned, I pray differently than others, like I love the fact that our common ground is Jesus and that we can still be diverse and we're all real, like down to earth, everybody is just everybody. You don't have to feel like you're coming. I think Bill mentioned it even in the pre show. Like the speakers, they want to hear from you. We want to hear from you, and everyone who is just just themselves. So yeah, yeah. Jen

Laurie Graham: 4:32

dropped and dropped in the chat community. So much connection. We'll talk a little bit about that from the main stage in just a minute. And Joni cracks me up. She said the non structured, yet structured vibe is appealing to me. You know, which is so true like that is us, and I think one of the things that makes us really different, too, is we're very responsive and dynamic. We are an organization that responds to needs that changes. You'll even see it happen during the conference today. I leave some space. Is in the main stages to like, answer questions, to go on a tangent. If a topic pops up that you came that's on your heart and you want this answer, we're going to go there as long as it fits. You know, our, you know our, our purpose of the conference here and stuff. And Chrissy said, professional, but not polished. Oh, I don't know. I feel like I'm kind of polished, but yeah, we're definitely not uppity and think brassy studios or anything like that. And we are small church people speaking to small churches, and the belief systems that we have that small church ministry isn't less, but it's different. You know, our focus on some foundational things, I think, is also one of our strengths as well. Stephanie said, Is there a way to connect with speakers for later? Reference, you can go to small church, ministry, com slash conference speakers, and you'll see all the speakers with their contact information there as well and our community, but more on that later. Shanika, let's go right another conference. So when I was a little girl, I lived in a one story, little ranch kind of house in a neighborhood in Euclid Ohio. So if anybody here is out from Cleveland area, or, you know, Ohio anywhere I grew up in Euclid Ohio when I was young. And my sister is actually in the audience here, and I know she remembers that house, because every now and then we'll send pictures back and forth of, oh my gosh, this is what the house looks like now. But I remember coming home one day and I was in the driveway. I don't remember where I was or what I was doing, but my neighbor, a teenager walked out and said, Laurie, do you want this? And I was like, what like? So I don't even know her name. I don't remember having a relationship with her, but she gave me this purple rock. I can still picture it to a T. It was a purple rock that had been decoupaged, and there was like a decoupage cartoon of a zebra that was stuck on this rock. You guys, I held onto that rock for years, years, and every time I saw that rock, I remembered this little encounter in the driveway with a teenage girl who I just thought was amazing, right? She was a teenager, and she was pretty and, you know, she never really taught I don't I really remember no relationship with her. I don't even remember her name. She gave me this rock. Do you know how impactful that was for me? Can you think of a story when you were a child that had an impact on you? It could be as little as getting a rock when somebody saw you, when somebody took the time to stop or remember your name, if you can think of a time, just any little story, would you drop it in the chat? Obviously, you can't write a whole, you know, five paragraphs or anything, but maybe just my grandma said this to me, or I remember my Sunday school teacher, or I remember an instance of this. I think it is so important, as we talk about Kidman and youth today to remember what made an impact on our lives. It's very early for me to cry in a conference, but if you've seen the other conferences, you know I cry at least once, probably five times. I don't know. Does anybody know how many times I usually cry in a conference? I'm not a cry baby by any sense of the word. And yet, I think our emotions are important. I think they're invitations to God. I think our emotions actually are very holy spirit involved. And I'm going to just tell you what made me cry. It was the comment from Carol Brandon in the chat that said I was in grade eight, and one of my parents friends asked my opinion, what I felt valued because one of my parents friends asked my opinion, Carol, I don't know how old you are. I'm 55 but I'm going to guess this was a couple decades ago, and this was the first story that popped to her mind. Chrissy Richardson said, My 60 year old Sunday School teacher learned a rap about the books of the Bible because she wanted to connect with us as youth. Carrie put in the chat one of the young girls she was babysitting for this young girl she. Gave me a mug. This is what popped to her mind. Debbie said I mattered to my teacher. I knew I mattered. Heather said I remember Vacation Bible School at my grandmother's church. Now catch what she said and how loved I felt. I am not saying none of us remembers the lessons. None of us remembers a single Bible verse. I'm not saying that, but I just ask for your most impactful stories of childhood. I can't believe I am starting feeling like I just want to cry at everything. Single thing I read here, my Sunday School teacher brought me a balloon when I was in the hospital. This is what Amy Axton remembers. Has this done anything in your heart today with what you hope to experience at this conference. Has this done anything? Because I'm telling you, as people in Kidman and youth ministry, our focus needs to be on what matters most, what matters most. What do people remember what matters? And I believe this is completely Jesus, like Jesus saw people. You've heard the story of the rich young man who said, What do I need to do? What do I need to do? I need to give everything up. And blah, blah, blah. How many sermons have we heard on this? Do you know the little verse in the middle that simply says, in the middle of that story, Jesus looked at him and loved him? It's one of my favorite Bible verses. It's changed my life. I know a lot of Bible verses. I've memorized entire Psalms. Okay? I've memorized stuff. I've taught kids to memorize stuff. I've wrapped stuff, wrapped like, wrapped like, you know, wrapped the Bible verses and stuff like that. One of my favorite, most impactful Bible verses that I've ever learned was Jesus looked at him and loved him. Jesus wasn't worried about all the people who weren't there, all the people he didn't reach, all the people who you know that there was only this one person Jesus looked at him and loved him. So I want to ask you what you came here for today, drop in the chat. It doesn't need to be philosophical. It doesn't need to be about loving kids, because I kids, because I just went there like, really, what did you come here for today? What would make it worth your day today? What did you hope to learn? What are the questions on your mind? What is the biggest struggle? Drop it in the chat. If you are new to this platform, there is a chat to your right. If you are on a laptop or computer, you're going to have a much better experience all day. So if you need to beg or borrow one, you know we we highly suggest take a break and go get a computer, a laptop. If you need to be on a phone or a mobile device, there's just different devices are a little different. If you need tech help at any time during the conference, please email Hello at small church ministry.com, but if you are able to get to that chat right now, I just want you to put something in the chat about what you were expecting today. What were you hopeful about today? What did you want to see change today? Whether it's new information, as Mike Haynes put during the pre show, tips and tricks about youth ministry and children, what is on your hearts? Efforts, because we as an organization, as a conference team, we want to answer those questions, and I also want to say, if you've been to any of our conferences before, typically, God gives us a whole other plate of things to pick from, to enjoy, to change our lives, to transform us. I think sometimes we think about that verse in Ephesians, where it says God is able to amazingly, abundantly more like, Okay. This is the Laurie version, okay, exceedingly beyond anything we could think or imagine. And we think of that in terms of programs and dreams and people coming? What about if it's for us? What if it's about him doing something totally different in our lives today that we would show up today and end up changed? This morning, there was a fly buzzing around me while I was trying to get ready, and it was so annoying, and I could have spent a lot of time worrying about that fly and I was very well aware of my choice in the moment that I had a choice on what I needed to focus on what I wanted. Wanted to focus on what I would choose to focus on, and I am coming in today more open handed than usual. Now you may laugh because you've seen me before, and I'm usually pretty open handed. I'm actually coming in today more open handed than usual because of my life, because of my season because of my day yesterday, because of my day to day, but I am really excited to see what God does today. And as I was journaling this morning, I have, I'm on the main stage, well, in the sessions area for this conference, because of some tech stuff that was going on. But I'm on the main stage four times. I have you four times and I was like, what if this is the only time that I get to see Marsha or renice or Clarissa or Johan? What if this is the only time I get to see you? How do I want you to experience me? How did people experience Jesus? And you know what? If nothing else happens today, I would like you to feel seen and loved. I know you came for information and you're gonna get it. I know you came for volunteer tips and you're gonna get it. I have a lot I've done ministry for decades. I'm older than I look. Okay? I've got a lot of stuff to give you, a lot of information. We have 27 speakers here. Have you looked at the topics for the day? Like they are amazing. They are so amazing, like transitions through COVID and hurricanes and pastors, right? Volunteers, reaching today's parents, teaching mixed age classes, bringing a choir in a seasonal choir in a small church. Do you know how many kids would love that? It's even an outreach opportunity, reaching your community before and after school. The topics are amazing. And in the middle of that, I want you to be seen and loved, because I think that's what Jesus did. Want you to think about the life of Jesus, the little boy who brought the loaves and the fish. I don't think that was just about the loaves and the fish. Let's look a little deeper in the story. Jesus stopped and looked at that little boy and had a conversation. Cared about his opinion, cared about his gifts. There was a connection. The woman at the well, she went to get water, and Jesus saw her, the rich young man, Jesus looked at him and loved him. We want to see you. We are a relational bunch of people. Most of us are available far after the conference. We're not a one and done community. If you join the conference thinking you're coming to a conference, you actually entered an entire ecosystem of community and support for small churches, 90% of it is 100% free. We do have paid resources because it keeps us alive, okay, but we have a Facebook community, we have a free podcast. We have got a free website with some of you in here, our guest bloggers. You've written on mixed age kids. You've written on developing volunteers. Because you are part of the community. You make this community what it is. So you did not come to a one and done conference. You will have support if you want it long after. You will have relationships if you want it long after. And today, I want you to be seen. I want you to know that we see you. You may be coming in completely burnt out, I'd say hands up. Raise your hand if you're burnt out. Raise your hand if you're doing too much. Raise your hand if you need more volunteers. Raise your hand if you've been teaching Sunday school for 30 years. It's not just Cortina, who I met last night. Raise your hand if you're tired. Raise your hand if you're excited. Raise your hand if you're planting a church. Raise your hand if you are brand new to children's ministry in a small church. Raise your hand if you just came from a big church and you're in a small church and you're like culture shock, amen, that small church. Ministry isn't less ministry, but it is very different, no matter where you are coming in, if you are 22 if you are 72 you are not alone. Here, you're in a community of support and help. And there are other people who are struggling with the same thing you are. There are other people are excited about the same thing you are. We are connectors in here, and we see you. We see you. If you ask a question, we want to answer it. I just have to, I just have to pop. Been with geralyn's comment that she just left. I'm assuming this is about that question I asked about what was an impactful story from your childhood? She said I was in the children's choir, and my family didn't have money to buy a special dress. The choir director paid for my dress. I was impacted by that. When I was a youth director back in the early 90s, I remember taking a student out to McDonald's in a public place. That's when we did a lot more relational visits and one on one and stuff like that. But we were at McDonald's, and he looked at me and he said, so you are you paid to take me out to McDonald's? Here's the sad reality I was it was part of my job. I was working full time in a large church. I was paid to take him out to McDonald's. And I said, Well, kind of but I want to know you do you know that small churches, they know you're not paid, they know you're just showing up. They know you love them because you're there like that is so cool. If you have any thoughts about competing with the larger church up the street, or the church that has a bigger youth program or a bigger children's program, could you maybe just put that out of your brain, because bigger churches are not all that I do understand the pain and the heartache when the young families leave your church for a bigger church program that has happened to me time and time again. I've been serving in small churches for over 20 years now, churches under 100 as a volunteer. Okay, I'm with you. I know that hurt when somebody comes and says, we're going to leave the church. We love you guys, but we really want a bigger program for my kids. Now I want to tell you to let them go, let them go, and they also might come back. Small churches offer things that larger churches don't, and I will also say larger churches have struggles that small churches do not, large youth groups, large children's programs. There's a lot of competition, there's a lot of bullying that happens when nobody knows. There's a lot of standardizing, because it has to be, because there's so many people. There's a lot of segregation by ages, which we would say, Oh, I'd rather teach a group of third graders. I wouldn't there's so much beauty that comes in mixed ages. Can we appreciate what we have? Casey just said, I came back so Casey went to a large church and came back to a small church, and in today's day and age, I just have to be honest, I think smaller churches are gonna last. I think smaller churches that are healthy, that acknowledge emotional health and like our internal health being with Jesus over programs, I think those churches are the churches that are going to get through this crazy culture that we're in. I really do let me talk about small churches really quick. I say small church ministry isn't less, it's just different. Our organization deals with small churches in general. We know many of you wear multiple hats. We are not specific on children and youth, although this conference is so I talk a lot about how small church ministry is different than large church ministry, and it can be deeper and more impactful, but we've got to quit trying to do ministry like the large churches, because those things do not work in small churches. Small churches are not on a little scale of a big church. It's not like baking cookies where you just cut the recipe in half, use the same ingredients and do the same things. That is wrong, and that is why so many people in small churches today are so frustrated. I talk about going Jean shopping with my girls when they were younger, as a woman buying jeans, it is so hard not to say, What is wrong with my body. Okay, can we just put that in the church scene and say, What is wrong with my church? You guys were trying on the wrong pants, like hands down, we're trying on the wrong pants. You need to find pants that fit a small church model, and that is not a big church model. And I also want to say it is not what Jesus modeled. Do you not think Jesus could have had events? Have you ever thought about that Jesus, the God of the universe, walking around fully human on the planet, there was a church structure. The majority of Jesus ministry is walking around with people, seeing people, giving that kid a little purple rock, buying somebody a dress, taking a balloon to a hospital, asking someone's opinion, valuing them, respecting them. Am looking at what we have, not what we do, not if you are struggling in a small church to build the program that is in your mind, I just want to ask the question, where did the program that's in your mind come from? Where did it come from? So I have a firm belief in understanding our brain, our body, our spirituality, who God created us to be okay, if you look at medical practices, what they used to do, like hundreds of years ago. We don't do those things anymore because we've learned, we've learned that we don't need leeches sucking on our organs. We've learned not to blood let so sorry, sorry. Went there currently reading a book about about brain stuff, and this was one of their illustrations. But it's early in the morning for that. Well, at least it is here in Tucson. But anyway, we don't do the same medical things we used to do because we've learned more. We've learned more, we understand more. So I just want to say, if you don't understand your brain, I'm going to connect this in just a second here. If you don't understand your own brain and your own self, 1,000% you cannot understand other people. You can't all of our ministries would be better if we understood ourselves more, understood people, more, understood our brain more, because we are fighting things that are not really the things to be fought. We're fighting things that aren't the war. So let me go back to the brain thing. So when I said that program you want to build that you're frustrated with, or the number of people you have, where did the idea of that program come from? Now, I am super creative. I love to dream. I love ideas. I love big things. Someday we're going to do, Jen, I haven't brought this up for a while, we're going to do a 24/7 a 24 hour conference around the world, like one of these conferences is going to be 24 hours, and the speakers are going to be in different time zones. So as the sun comes up in Australia, the Australian speakers will be speaking, okay, like, because the time zones are so crazy, so I dream big, okay, but I just want you to say, I just want you to think about where did that idea come from. So this is how our brains work. When we say, what's a solution, what's an idea, our brains first come up with everything we've already seen done, that's what it is. If I say, What's your favorite car? What's a car you want to have, you will think of a car you've seen or a car you've heard about. This is how our brains, our brains function like this. It goes to commonality first. Do you know how truly creative people work? They have those same ideas, but they blow past them. When an obstacle comes up, when a challenge comes up, they don't keep trying to do the same thing as consistent and same as our God is. The consistency of God's character is that he's creative. The consistency of God's character is that he meets people where they are and does new things. How many times did a burning bush happen? How many times did a chariot go in the sky? How many times was somebody struck blind to get their attention? How many times did a donkey speak? I want you to think about the coolest stories. Think about what God did. How many times did he do those things? Those things? Now, I'm not saying things aren't repeated. I'm not saying there aren't things that could be predictable that God would do over and over again, but I'm saying God is creative and dynamic learning, you know, just moving ahead all that like, think of what God's done in your life that he hasn't done for somebody else. Think of the ways that God sometimes speaks through a rock, through a tree, not saying audibly all the time, but we've seen that happen, right? Or we've heard of those stories. So why are we trying to do the same thing in the same old way in our church? Oops, okay, small church. People who've been following me for a while, what do you call a church that doesn't have a nursery, drop it in the chat, a church. Thanks, Tammy. What do you call a church that doesn't have vacation Bible school? A church? What do you call a church that doesn't have Sunday school on Sunday morning, a church sometimes that picture that's in our head, God has something better in mind. I'm not saying we. Do ministry. I'm not saying we don't impact people. I'm not saying we don't grow in our influence. I'm saying it might look different. We might be fighting the wrong problem. We just might be fighting the wrong problem. In the earliest email I sent out when you register for the conference. I said, What's your biggest challenge? And by the way, thank you for those who wrote and responded to me. Number one, I actually read my email. It's true. And number two, it gives me information. It lets me know where you're at. It lets me know where you're struggling. It helps us form this conference, in these talks, and one of the things that came up repetitively was my biggest challenge is inconsistency of the kids. One shows up one week, the next week I have three. The curriculum I have is built this way, and they're not coming so they're missing half of it. Or how about that issue that parents are choosing soccer over church. Anybody? Raise your hand, and I want to say so. First off, I empathize. I get it. I have felt the same things in the same way, and why is it a problem? I Why is it a problem? Is it a problem? It's different. Why is it a problem that kids are only coming one once a month or once every three weeks or three weeks straight? You know why it's a problem? It's because of the model we're trying to do. I mean, is it really it's a problem? Because the the structure we built, the box we bit built, what if the problem is the pants and not the kids? You know, one of the things I thought of this morning when I was getting ready was, I often say that God brings the people to you that should be there. Like, there's a little bit of of comfort in saying everybody who's supposed to be here is here. And I think about like our reach with our events, we do an outreach event or a VBS, and we're like, we had three kids instead of 30, or we had 30 kids instead of 100 what's wrong? Right Is that really what God wanted? Did God want less people to be here? I don't know, and I'm not going there with theology, but what I what I hid today, was this about this conference. Did we do everything we could to reach more people? No, I did everything I could do within my capacity for this conference? Are we reaching into denominations like we want to be? No, we are not. The reality is is if we had more people at this conference, more people would be impacted. That is the absolute truth. So I get it in kids ministry, you want to reach more kids. And the other reality is this, we are here today. You are here today. I am here today. It doesn't matter if it could have been different today, because what I have is who's in front of me today? Is that not what Jesus was like? The culture that we model in so many churches today, big, small, medium, Tiny. Doesn't matter the culture that we model often includes burnout. It often includes bitterness. It often includes blame. Who do we want to be when one person shows up. How about when a volunteer does not show up? Who do I want to be? I volunteer in an organization in Tucson. It's not a Christian organization. It's just a really cool place to volunteer. And I got a message from them the other day they send out weekly emails, and this is a secular organization, and they were talking about customer care and empathy and respect and love and acceptance. And I was like, wow. Well, that'd be cool in a church, wouldn't it? Guys like, I mean, somebody said earlier, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I mean, I don't even know whether to laugh or cry. At that statement, I was talking to a friend the other day, and she said, You know what? I just wish the church could just value. Me not for what I bring or what I do, because my capacity is limited. She's gone through a horrendous thing in her church, in her family over the past couple years. She said, can I find can I find a church where they just see me and don't need me to serve or expect me to serve. And we had a great conversation about the church, and about about how we were brought up to to bear weight with the church, which all of you were here or you wouldn't be. But what if we couldn't serve? What if we couldn't volunteer? What if we weren't ready, or we didn't have the capacity, or we didn't have the time. Can we find a church who could just see me and love me in whatever state I'm in? Is that not what Jesus did? I'm bridging to volunteers here. I'm bridging just a little bit into our volunteer recruitment. At the next main stage, I'm going to give a lot more practical tips. I do have five steps, three steps, you know, process. I've got that to give to you, but without our hearts in the right place. I shouldn't say that your heart can be anywhere you want it to be. If your heart is not where my heart is, some of the things I'm going to say are not going to make sense. And also, I'm thinking of the scripture verse that if I have not love, I'm a banging gong or a clanging symbol. I'm thinking of what is necessary, what what is needed, what is what is important right now that one thing, if we don't see people like Jesus sees people we will not be developing teams like Jesus developed teams. We also can't see people the way Jesus sees people, if we don't see ourselves the way Jesus sees us. If you're trying to get a volunteer to do something they don't want to do, that is not recruiting. That's manipulation. Yeah, I'm going to say that again. This is going to be a quote, isn't it, if you're trying to get somebody to do something that they don't want to do, that is not recruiting, it's manipulation. When you look at your program, we're talking about volunteers. Now I said more volunteers. How to develop a Jesus style team. If your goal is to get people to do something they don't want to do, we need nursery workers. Nobody wants to serve in the nursery. I need to get them to do that. That's manipulation. That's not what we want to be about in the church. It's not what Jesus did. So how do we run the nursery then? Well, I'm going to give you some good tips. I'm going to give you some ideas, a broader vision. But in the end, what do you call a church without a nursery? Maybe there's creative solutions. Maybe we can team up families who would love to hold that little baby during worship instead of being in the back room. I hate being in nurseries. I hate being away from all those people, but you give me a couple babies to hold in the back of the worship center while people are singing, even while the pastor's preaching, I can walk in and out with him. Totally about that. Now, obviously safety standards, all kinds of stuff here. I'm not saying that's the solution for everyone, but I'm just saying there's a reason people don't want to be in the nursery sometimes trying to get them to do something they don't want to do is manipulation. How about this? Volunteers? Maybe they don't exist to do ministry. Maybe they are part of our ministry. Volunteers don't exist to do ministry. They are our ministry. Now I know as a Kidman director, you're like, No, they're not. The kids are my ministry. Again, we've gone into this modern church mentality of splitting people into segments, right? I think every person who's in front of me is my ministry at the grocery store, on the street, driving by someone on a corner, every person who's in front of me is my ministry. Now, if that causes you anxiety, because you're trying to run this program and you need help, and you're doing it all yourself, and maybe you're bitter, or maybe you're sad, or maybe you feel like a failure. Jesus wants to meet you there first. Us first, we have got to show up as healthy whole people. If we want to build a healthy team, you can be healthy first. Getting those volunteers in is not going to make you healthy. Sometimes we think if we only had help external, things do not fix internal things. Having enough volunteers is not going to change the depth of your heart, your feelings, your needs. It's not. Jesus needed more volunteers. Would you agree with that Jesus had three years on the planet to change the world. Here's another quote for you. By the way, Bill Gunter is big on this, and I forgot to say it. You should probably have a notebook out today to write some things down. And again, if you missed something, you didn't really miss it, because we're around forever. But I uh, Jesus did not recruit people. He developed them. Jesus did not recruit volunteers. He developed people. And if we all could make a shift from recruiting volunteers to developing people, including ourselves, developing ourselves, if we could make that shift, everything would change. Everything would change. But you know what? Developing people takes longer? It's not instant. Developing people, for me, is also much more meaningful, and it's such an amazing thing to look back on, such an amazing thing to walk with someone as they're developing takes longer, a lot longer. It's not a quick fix. In our land of quick fixes, why have our churches become quick fixes? Can someone explain that to me? Why are we looking for quick fixes in the church? God waited generations for people. God made promises for generations. You know, people talk about the crock pot in the microwave, right? How does is more than a crock pot. Think of generations. The impact that Jesus had on people after he died was probably more important than what he had when he was with people. Did you ever think about that the children that are coming to your Sunday school your programs, your church, if you don't have Sunday school, do you know the impact you have on them might actually be in 10 years, 20 years, 30 years. They may look back, I had a young adult, oh, she's probably 30. Now I'm 55 I had a young adult reach out to me on Facebook, maybe 567, 10 years ago. Hadn't heard from her in 30 years. Probably hadn't thought about her in 2020, 30 years. Um, she messaged me on Facebook and said, What a difference I made in her life as her youth director. I honestly, I thought she didn't like me at all. I thought she hated me. I kept showing up, but I'm telling you, she is not a kid I thought I connected with Is that not amazing? You don't know the impact you have. You don't know the impact you have, but it starts with us. It starts with us being healthy and whole, understanding our hearts, understanding our brains, understanding our reactions, dealing with our own feelings, because that's the only way we can help other people, adults who are volunteers, develop more wholeness too, right? Angela marks is doing a presentation today, and she is talking about healthy, whole leaders. I have no idea what angle she's going in, but because there's so many angles we could take again, this is not like a one and done topic either. This is about our health. This is about who we are, but that's a start. Amy ogstad is talking about trauma today. That's a start. This isn't something we're going to learn in half an hour, but it's a start. Just to understand that, to understand that give going to give you another quote for volunteers again. Next main stage, we're going to go deep into tips and tricks and all kinds of stuff with volunteers developing unlikely people overlooked things like that, things to do, what to watch for, how to process. But because so many people in their car. Admits to me had talked about volunteers. Are you requesting people help, or are you demanding them to help? Now most of us would say no, we're requesting. We put a sign up, we do an announcement. I'm going to tell you the difference between a request and a demand. If you're not okay with a no, it's a demand. Internally, it's a demand, if it's a request. Hey, can you help me with this? Yes or no, okay, cool. Do you know that accepting people's nose is respect? We put a lot of blame on other people. They're not showing up. You know, they my volunteer didn't show up today. People aren't signing up. They don't understand the vision, the mission. They don't care about kids. Please don't say that. Very few people don't care about kids. Very few. My pastor doesn't prioritize it. Nobody's helping me. If you're not okay with a no, it's a demand. It's not a request. And maybe part of the issue is the box. We're trying to fit everybody into the box. Okay, we're going to talk about Top Chef. We're going to talk a little bit about survivor and being on a deserted island at the next main stage. Shanika, can you come on and join me? If you're out there. We have so much to talk about. We've got some announcements, we've got some things, but do me a favor in the chat, would you please just jot down one thing that is standing out to you from this very first session, as we are just getting started, what is one thing that's made an impact? One thing you wrote down, one thing you're going to take to your church, one thing you're going to pray about or think about, Shanika. I know you've done ministry for a crazy long time. What is one thing from this presentation to you, because you've heard me speak a lot too. What stands out to you or what hits you today,

Shineka Dixon: 47:24

what really made me like? Say, Who? Say that again? Say, what like? Oh, okay, it hit me, because I had to check myself trying to get volunteers to do. That was like up in my online and then you followed it up a little later, well, a few seconds later, saying, you know, are you demanding or are you requesting? And I was like, if I get a no, do I get bothered? And am I manipulating? So I Yeah, there was so much that you said even before all of that. But what I was like, okay, she's trying to hit somebody in the heart, just dealing with, you know, manipulation. Like, are we manipulating people? Are we coercing people to do things, you know? And we do have to check our heart, and we do have to check why we're kind of pushing the way we are. Some people, yeah, they do want a little bit more. Hey, do you want to do this? And, you know, can you do this? And they're just, they're they're needing that extra ask. But others, you know, it's they, they do not have a heart. They do not have the time. They cannot, whatever the reasons are. And we just have to check our heart motive as to why we're doing what we're doing, and really get to the root, like you said, if, if they, if they say, No, is that really okay, you know? And if it's not, then, then what's going on with self and what's going on with you? So that was, that was what really, I was like, take a pause,

Laurie Graham: 49:11

and this is the first session today.

Shineka Dixon: 49:13

Yes, I told y'all, it started already deep.

Laurie Graham: 49:19

Well, I hope you not only were inspired and encouraged by that session, but that you also share it with someone else at your church for more solutions to what you're facing at your smaller church. Don't forget to check out our website at small church ministry.com, so until next week, be a light you.