159: Women’s Ministry & Embracing God’s Unique Assignment For You | with Aimee Nelson

This month on The Small Church Ministry Podcast, we’re focusing on women’s ministry as we gear up for our annual Women’s Ministry For Small Churches Conference.

Today’s guest, Aimee Nelson, shares how unexpected turns in her life became the driving force behind her ministry, transforming challenges into her greatest message.

Tune in to hear how embracing the twists and turns in your own life can lead to your own uniquely powerful and impactful ministry.


Get your free ticket to the Women's Ministry for Small Churches Conference:
https://smallchurchsummits.com/

Connect with Aimee Nelson:
www.aimee-nelson.com/home

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Transcript

Laurie Acker: 0:01

Hey, this is Laurie Acker, welcome to the small church ministry podcast. Hey everybody. Welcome to another episode of the small church ministry podcast. As we get revved up for this month's women's ministry and small churches conference. I have Miss Amy Nelson on the podcast today. She has been a favorite speaker, just a valuable community member. She is a mentor and a friend, and I am just completely privileged to know her and introduce you to her today. So, Amy, do you want to, do you want to kind of just introduce yourself a little bit like, how would you if somebody just met you today and said, Hey, who are you? How would you introduce yourself?

Aimee Nelson: 0:52

Oh my gosh, I'd say I'm a girl that loves Jesus, good coffee, my family and a pair of shoes.

Laurie Acker: 1:01

Okay, are you barefoot right now? Or do you have shoes on?

Aimee Nelson: 1:04

I have on slippers.

Laurie Acker: 1:06

Okay, slippers, I'm telling you barefoot right now.

Aimee Nelson: 1:09

Yeah. My grandson says, Mimi, are you really going to do that? Those slippers are a little dirty. I said, Sunday, won't see these. He goes, okay, because I know you like shoes.

Laurie Acker: 1:19

And then I asked you and exposed it right on the

Aimee Nelson: 1:21

air. Yes.

Laurie Acker: 1:25

Well, I'm so happy you're here today. We're going to talk specifically about women's ministry and women finding their unique place and purpose. And I think one of the things, Amy that typically comes up at our conferences, I know you've spoken at many of them, is that women's ministry almost has this feel that that's what a women's ministry looks like. And I know one of the favorite things you and I like to talk about is there really isn't a certain box, there isn't a certain program, there isn't a certain personality that is needed in women's ministry. So if somebody was going to come up to you today, Amy, and just say, Hey, I'm trying to do women's ministry, I'm struggling finding my spot. I'm not sure what, what it should look like. Where would you go with that kind of conversation? Because I know a lot of women come in with that on their minds,

Aimee Nelson: 2:09

yeah, and I think that's coming in with an expectation. So what I would say to a lot of women is, listen, set a table, invite a group of women, get some coffee, and hold space for the women that show up. Wow.

Laurie Acker: 2:23

And that's very different than grabbing a calendar and putting a whole bunch of events on and hoping people come and getting frustrated when they don't. And so how does that? How does that really work? Amy, like, have you done that? Have you just, like, opened up a table and said, Hey, come join me for coffee?

Aimee Nelson: 2:40

Well, I didn't get to introduce myself like you said. I'm Amy Nelson. I've been a pastor's wife for about 30 years, up until February. That's who I was in a ministry perspective. But I would say in the early years, I did what you said in the latter, Laurie, I got the calendar, went online to see the best Lifeway Bible studies, and we're going to tackle it, and we're going to go. And when I look back now, what I really wished I would have done is just sit down with the women that were there. Let me get to know them, let me see where they are and what the temperature is, and let God lead us on where we need to be, because oftentimes women need fellowship and community, and the Jesus part will take it'll take place. It'll happen. Yeah,

Laurie Acker: 3:26

you know, as you say, that the women that have made the biggest impact in my life, the biggest impact on my life, have been women who have just made me tea, invited me into their home. So why do you think we get that pressure? Because, like for me, those are the women who changed my life. But like you said, especially early on in ministry, we have this feeling that we've got to put all these events on the calendar and that's where ministry happens. But the older I get in ministry, and I think you just said the same thing, I think you would echo that that's really like, it's not saying it's false, but it's not the depth of it.

Aimee Nelson: 4:02

No, it's not, but I think it's because that's what's been the expectation, that that's what it's women's ministry. So women's ministry looks like women getting together going through a Bible study, and that's what we do. No women's ministry takes place when other women get together. If there's a group of Christian women sitting at a table, that's women's that's women's ministry, that's discipleship happening, that's mentorship happening, because now we're just doing life. We're just chopping it up. We're talking, I'm holding space for you. You're telling me about your life, and before we know it, we got community commonality. Now we got hope. Laurie,

Laurie Acker: 4:40

yeah, yeah. You know, one of the things, when you're talking about like, we think we have this expectation of what a women's ministry looks like. I think there's something in that that feels safe, like, like we've got this box, if we do this, this, this, it's going to turn out, which we all find out it doesn't turn out. But when you. Because you've spoken several times about like, a unique assignment, finding your unique spot in women's ministry, it always feels so organic and so different. And how do you help women find that spot? Like, how do we find our unique spot, if it's not supposed to look the same everywhere? How do we figure that out?

Aimee Nelson: 5:21

I will say even for me, it was, it was happenstance. Laura, I'm not gonna say that. I just came up and had that marvelous idea that that's what happens. It wasn't because, as I said earlier, I was the one ordering the Lifeway studies. And don't get me wrong, God can show up there, and even in that Bible study, there can be relationships that are built and that last but the thing that happened to me, where I found true transformation, I would say, happened when I relaxed. Didn't come with my giant calendar. Met a couple of women for coffee, and those women changed my life because it was then that now we're doing life authentically. Laurie, one on one, just sitting down with one another, getting to know someone. And scriptures are gonna come up, scriptures are going to come up. And that's what I'm saying. And I think there isn't one better than the other. There's a place for both.

Laurie Acker: 6:16

Yeah. So let's talk about a couple things in your life that changed your life, or times when God kind of took you on a new pivot and stuff. Do you have a few that you would like to share just, just personal testimony, like in women's ministry and how you embraced ministry, or, you know, kind of moving in your own unique assignment?

Aimee Nelson: 6:38

Yes, because, you know, like I said, being a pastor's wife served. You know you're supposed to do other things. I didn't play the piano, but I did do worship. I led children's ministry, and I have to tell you, out of all the places I've served, I still that tug for children's ministry. Will still call me every now and then, just seeing their little eyes light up, but I will say Laurie one of my greatest struggles was when my children are different ages. My oldest is 34 my youngest is 14, and so my younger two children are 15 and 14. The greatest struggle for me was when I was in the height of running women's ministry, thinking I'm going to go travel, speak, do all the things, and God said, No, you're going to have two more kids. And I'm still wrestling through that with me. I'm still talking about that, lest I digress anyway, but in the midst of that, Laurie was when he put on my heart to start a ministry and connect with the crisis pregnancy center and to begin to create a ministry that serves single, young, unwed mothers. And that was hard for me, because I'm like, wait a minute, aren't I called into the four walls of the church? God, I can't go out there and hit that up and be out beyond the walls. And he's like, No, you're boxing me. I never said that's where I stayed, that's where you put me. So what I'm going to ask you is to create a space, create a table for the young girl that may never walk through the front doors of that church, but she may come in the side room of a classroom for a parenting class and let me meet her. And that changed my life.

Laurie Acker: 8:21

So how did that vision come up? Because I know when I first met you, I was so excited to hear about this ministry that you had outside the church. How did that happen for you? Because you just said you weren't planning on it, you weren't thinking about it. How did that actually come up?

Aimee Nelson: 8:39

It actually started because, like I said, My children, my oldest two children were 817, and 17 and 14. So I'm thinking, hey, these jokers are almost at the house ready to enjoy empty nesting. And God said, No, you're going to have two more. And Laurie, I struggled, because you can be married and have an unexpected pregnancy. I didn't expect that. We were doing ministry. They were unplanned, and I really, really, really struggled. But the women in the church just got around me. They supported me. They said, Amy, it's going to be fine. God, you're not messing up God's plan. This is part of his plan. And after I had the boys, I spent some time alone with the Lord. I was just home with them one day, and the Lord said to me, Amy, if it was hard for you to face an unexpected pregnancy, you being married, you being a Christian, you having safe community, and you struggle. Imagine what it's like for the girl that doesn't have that. And I said, Wow. And he said, go and build what you prayed for and what I needed the most. I built it, and he asked me to design that for young girls that come in through the crisis pregnancy center, that come in through the clinic, that are. Facing an unplanned pregnancy, and we created a community for them, yeah, and

Laurie Acker: 10:04

this is outside your church. This is something you did kind of separately and and thank you for sharing kind of how it happened. Because you're like, Well, how it happened is, well, I had, you know, I had this happen to me, but you took steps beyond that, because we all have things that happen like unexpected or those shocks, or those huge like life curve balls, and we don't always turn that into a ministry. And so, you know, you took some steps beyond that, but how did that feel for you at the time, a pastor's wife starting this thing outside the church walls, because a lot of people who are listening right now, volunteers, ministry leaders in small churches. We feel, sometimes we feel a need that like, well, if people in church aren't doing it with me, then I I'm not called to do it. Or, you know, like, I know a lot of women will come up with like, Oh, I really feel like we should do this, but nobody's on board with me. And I'm like, well, we don't have to do everything within the context of the church. So can you talk a little bit about that? Did you struggle at all with that? Or did it just feel kind of natural?

Aimee Nelson: 11:09

Did I struggle at all that was a huge struggle for me, Laurie, because I'm a church girl. I'm a preacher's kid, so in my mind, I listen. I grew up front row, piano side. So I'm thinking, This is it. This is where I sit. This is where I will do ministry, leading worship, leading women into, you know, huge conferences, and doing the thing. And God just said, no, there are a group of women that need your life, need your story. I just need your Yes. And I really struggled embracing this calling Laurie. It took me a long time, and I remember just saying to Darrell. I said, Darrell, why would he ask me to do that? And he just looked at me and said, why wouldn't he? He said, You're the one putting God in a box. And what he said to me recently is Laurie, the gift that He's given me. I keep trying to take the light where it's already lit.

Laurie Acker: 12:10

Ooh. Say that again.

Aimee Nelson: 12:13

He was saying to me that I keep trying to take the light where the room's already lit. Wow. And that's not where he that's not my room. Wow.

Laurie Acker: 12:24

Okay, so I did not know that was a struggle for you to start that or to start that ministry outside the church wall. So this is the first time I've known you for a few years. Never heard you say that. And I love that. It's a struggle because, you know, it's, it's normal, like I've always thought Amy Nelson just does it. She just just powers through. And so it's kind of, it's kind of fun to know that you also struggle with things you know that the rest of us do. So what would you you actually ended up developing an entire nonprofit? You have donors, like, it's kind of a big deal. Do you want to talk about, like, the transformation that you know, from that idea to what you have now and the team that you even have around you

Aimee Nelson: 13:07

now, sitting where I'm sitting now, Laurie, I completely see what God was doing when I see where my life is now, and what he was asking me to build back then it started just as a little, you know, small ministry, where I'll get together and we'll just teach parenting classes for the moms, and we'll throw every mom a baby shower. We birthed that from the ground. That's what we did. Connected with the clinics and the pregnancy centers. We would do that each time. And then I started realizing that there were moms in our school district, at one point, there were well over 200 and something pregnant teens in our school district that needed ministry. The Lord said, that's why I said that to you, go, be the light. Then we realized, once we took the classes to those moms, that there were girls that needed long time mentoring. And what God said to me was Amy as Christians and as a Christian, Amy, you're good with making sure she walks away from the abortion clinic. You're good about that. That's fine, but what do you do to help her do life beyond that? And that's where we created the long term mentorship, meaning that we will do life with the mother for up to seven years. Laurie Wow, yeah, helping her to gain sustainability, connecting her with the financial advisor, connecting her with a coach and community. While she's working, going to school full time, we will subsidize her housing or her daycare. Wow, monetarily

Laurie Acker: 14:41

Well, if people want to learn more or check out the website, where should they go to just hear more about this, they need

Aimee Nelson: 14:47

to go to www dot hope for her. Sfl.org,

Laurie Acker: 14:51

okay, and we will, for sure, drop that in the show notes. I just want to make sure to get that in before we we move on, because I know we you. I tend to go into, you know, a lot of fun, meaningful tangents, I will say, so obviously, this is a really unique ministry. Um, one of the things that we talk about with small churches is we've got to quit copying what everybody does. Because, you know, I mean, there, I would not have that same ministry that you would have. I think it's beautiful. I think it's awesome. There's a few in my city that probably do similar but we're definitely not saying, hey, everybody do this specific ministry that Amy Nelson did. So how do we figure out our own calling? Or, how do we, you know, like, I guess I'm just thinking for listeners, you know, who, who may be saying that's so cool for Amy, she had such a specific calling, and God really had an idea for her. You know? What? About me?

Aimee Nelson: 16:18

I would say you're a lot of people don't like to hear this, but oftentimes your greatest ministry will come out of your greatest season of misery, or your season of suffering. Is something that, what it what did God deliver you from? What did he bring you up out of? And that thing that he's delivered you from, you've survived it. You're now on the other side of it. So there are going to be women that want to know, how'd you do that? Laurie, how did you get there? From there to here? How that happened? You didn't survive it for no reason, God. You survived it because God wants you to use your voice to help the next woman get through it. Yeah,

Laurie Acker: 16:57

I love it. And I also love that when you talked about, you know, when this unexpected thing hit you, you had women at church coming around you, saying you're going to be okay. And you obviously processed through that in a healthy way to get to the other side, because sometimes when you say your greatest ministry comes out of your greatest misery, I think about people still stuck in their misery who are trying to help people in the misery, and that like goes bad, like we have got to be able to take care of ourselves and move through healing and find the support that we need, which I don't think women are always great at, like We're so used to helping everyone else, but yet we kind of just feel like it's our job to suffer, and we we don't always work through those hard things. Have you seen that? Also?

Aimee Nelson: 17:42

Yes. And I can say to a woman, I can tell when a woman is leading and bleeding, because what she's doing is she's speaking and wounding. You know what I mean. So you can kind of see when that's happening that okay, you're you're trying to move and work in this area, but you haven't totally healed yet. And if we don't heal properly, it will come out one way or the other. Um, Laurie, and that's and I'm so glad you're bringing that up, because it's so important that we practice self care. I tell women, listen, Jesus in therapy is wonderful. Yeah, it is a great thing. That's why he gave the therapist the brains that they have. Yeah, it is a great thing to go sit and find somebody to talk to and write down the steps that it took for you to get on the other side of it, for me to get on the other side of it. It was the things that God delivered me from, yeah, that He healed me from that now he asks me to speak on Yeah, that's how I got here, yeah, for sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, even in this season,

Laurie Acker: 18:46

oh, I just love it. Okay, what? We're like 18 minutes in, I'm watching the timer, because I'm always sometimes we go really, really long, and then I'm like, Oh my gosh, we went so long. So I just want to take a couple minutes, if you don't mind, to talk about our conferences. The conference is coming up at the end of the month, if you're listening, at another time after this has gone live. You all who are listening, we typically have a women's ministry for small churches conference at the end of every January. So it's usually the last Saturday in January, and we have one coming up soon. If you haven't gotten your free ticket yet, just go to small church summits.com. And grab it. It's amazing. But Amy, you have done a lot of speaking. You are involved in a lot of different different types of ministries, different types of conferences. You know, I know you know a lot about it. You've been in ministry a long time. What is unique? Or what do you love about our conferences? And I'm saying that because I know you love them.

Aimee Nelson: 19:39

Oh my. It's so hard to even start Laurie, because what you have done, you and the team, it's remarkable when, because I first heard about it during the pandemic, through another friend of mine, she pointed me into the direction, and I listened to her, and I'm like, how could this work? Online, virtual, my God, the way the women show up in the room, the value, the value that is for free, and you see the women popping in the chat. I needed to be here today. This is healing for my soul. This is making a difference, not to mention the prayer room. Are you kidding me? And I really think people minimize prayer in this season, but it is such. It should not be our last resort. It should be our first response. And it's so needed Laurie, that there's a space. Women can go in for prayer. They can go for worship. There's multiple speakers. I could go on and on, you've done a phenomenal job in taking the mantle and what God's asked you to do. And I want to say thank you for that, because they've blessed me.

Laurie Acker: 20:48

Well, you have been a huge part of it as well. You know, you know, when you say you have done such a great job. It really is a we. This is a big we kind of kind of ministry that we have going on at small church ministry. And one of the things I just want to highlight specifically in women's ministry, but really in any ministry area, the truth is, is that ministry in small churches is different than ministry in large churches. And if we end up at these conferences that are for any size church, usually the people in small churches leave saying, well, that's really great, but I don't have that many people, or that idea really won't work for me. And I think that's one of the things that I love, is just connecting with amazing people in small churches. Like I mean, I just think the quality of people we have even showing up as speakers is, you know, there's amazing things happening in small churches everywhere. It

Aimee Nelson: 21:41

is Laurie. And I love the fact that when you talk about it that way, because some people give you in a small church and feel like, Oh, we're not growing, we're just small. You never say we're just anything, and I love it that you put on the hearts of the people that you're in the church where you are, because God's placed you there, and there's someone that needs the message that you have. And that's why we've come together as smaller churches, because our needs are different, but we understand what the needs are because we're in the same we're in the same ministry lane, so to speak. And we I get it. I get it. Yeah? When people say, Well, I don't have enough teachers, I get it. And I had to show up in three positions today, I get it right?

Laurie Acker: 22:25

Yeah, you do get it. I think that's one of the things I love about all of us, is we get it. Nobody's speaking from a place of, hey, you know, come join us up here. No, we're all in the trenches together. No, you know. And Amy, when you talked about women's ministry, just being setting a table and showing up and getting to know people, to me, this is Jesus style ministry. I really believe Jesus could have modeled any type of ministry. He could have built a church on a in one place. He could have, he could have modeled a program type ministry where we're inviting people, and instead, he really was, by and large, super relational. He taught where he was, he spoke, you know, about what he was, you know, encountering, and what people were asking. But by and large, it was such a relational ministry. And do you have um, somebody that you could share about a woman in your life who has just really made an impact on you? You don't have to name her if you want. But I'm just kind of curious, when you look at your life and how you have been influenced, what made a big difference to you, and I'll tell you, the reason I'm asking is because I think when we look at the heroes of our lives, it's pretty beautiful to to be able to kind of imagine it, say, I want to be like that person. I want to be them to someone else as well. And typically, that's not a program thing. Usually that's such deeply relational. So do you have a story you could share with us, or a person you could

Aimee Nelson: 23:54

talk about, yes, I will say right now, the woman that's had the greatest impact on my life. Most people, they they never meet her. They probably never see her, ever over 1718, years ago, she taught me how to take the Sunday message, listen to it again and look for God, to display everything that was going to be in that message, to see it lived out in my life through the rest of that week. Wow, to see how God's word applied to my life daily. Laurie and it changed my life forever, to get up and read whatever that my reading was for that day. I could see a lift out throughout the day. Wow. She taught me that, how to apply it, and I am forever grateful for that, for her just doing that for me and holding space, she held space for me, even the season that I'm in now, you know, walking and learning how to, you know, grow and grieve at the same time, but showing me sitting with me in that and it's been remarkable, wow. And I'm great

Laurie Acker: 25:05

well. And you've told her what a difference she's made in your life

Aimee Nelson: 25:09

on the regular, yeah, I have told her she's like, What are you kidding me? She's a stay at home mom has always been at home with her kids. Four of them, homeschooled them, raised them. That's why I said most people wouldn't so unassuming, but those one jewels and sometimes I can grab my phone six o'clock in the morning and I look down and there's a word. Has sent me, yeah, Laurie, and it will change my life, and it'll impact, impact my day, and I pray that I'm doing that for the women that are in my life as well. Yeah,

Laurie Acker: 25:41

you know, it really is those, those little unassuming things we do or say, are the ways we show up, often have the biggest impact. And wherever you're listening from today, I want to encourage you. First off, if somebody popped a mind that you are grateful for that made a difference in your life, please tell them. I know a lot of people do not tell people like they're like, Oh, I never really told them. And so important. And yesterday, you know, as you're talking Amy, yesterday, one of our one of our speakers for the upcoming conference, messaged me a prayer like just voice recorded me a prayer for me, and I'm not friends with her like we have just connected through this conference. We have not talked beyond one quick zoom call in email, and it made a difference in my day. And I think when we think about all of our busyness in women's ministry. Man, sending a text, shooting a message, dropping off a flower. You know, whatever it might be, could be the biggest game changer in somebody's life. And we're running around trying to find decorations and candles and, you know, get door prizes. And I think sometimes we miss the boat with that.

Aimee Nelson: 26:55

That was That's why I said that ministry. I think because we've taken the notion that ministry looks big. You know what I mean? Ministry has to be big and and a book and a video. Ministry takes place wherever two of us are gathered and someone's encouraging somebody. You're ministering to somebody's heart, He ministered to your soul. And that makes the difference letting people know that they're seen, they're known and they're heard.

Laurie Acker: 27:26

Yeah, so true. Amy, I get I get so many quotables from you. I love every time I can connect with you, whether it is on a phone call, through a message at a conference, truly, you are one of the women in my life I'm very, very grateful for. Do you have any last words to anyone listening? We've covered a lot. We've talked about a little bit about unique assignment. We talked about a big, thing that you did, which ended up being big, didn't start big, right? That ended up being a non profit that serves in your community. And then we pulled it back again and said, but it's the little things, you know. So we've, like, covered a lot of ground here. Is there any last words, encouragement, exhortation, anything that you want to throw out to the universe here, yes,

Aimee Nelson: 28:14

the biggest thing I want to say to women. There's so much going on in our country, in our culture, and I'm just going to remind women to become a woman of the word, become a woman of prayer. You know what I mean? Desire to be bigger on the inside than we are on the outside. There's a generation that is in need of our voices. Laurie, I am seeing that so much more today. There are generation of women, girls, young men, that need our voices. They need to hear what God's done in our lives. I will say to the women that don't settle for complacency, don't settle for being lukewarm. If God's put something on your heart, continue to seek His face until you put it to your feet and walk it out. He didn't give it to you for no reason. Listen, if he said you're going to go to California, you're either getting wings or a ticket, but one, one or the other, if people put a purpose in your heart, he's going to get you to it. There are young women that are listen. Someone's counting on our obedience, and there's a blessing on the other side of it. Women Listen, Laurie, women are blessed because of your yes, even now, in your courage and your boldness, women are going to be blessed because of your yes and your continued Yes, even in this season. And that's not just for you and me, it's for the women that are going to show up on this call. God's got something amazing in store for them. It requires surrender. But listen what God consumes. He redeems, open handed surrender, just trust Him.

Laurie Acker: 29:56

Yeah, you know, I end every podcast episode with the phrase be a light. And I just know sometimes we sit back and think, God hasn't called me, or I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, or I'm not going to be like that person, and yet somebody walks right in front of us every day. And I think sometimes we forget that sometimes is the biggest impact we will ever have. Because when we're in front of one person, come on, like, if somebody just looks me in the eye, like, I mean, how many times do we just walk past. People like, it's so meaningful to be noticed by someone. So let's be the noticers. Let's be, you know, I really believe Jesus looked at people in the eye. I just don't think he was ever rushing past. That's good, you know? I think he was just walking with people, not next to them.

Aimee Nelson: 30:52

That's good. Yeah, that's so

Laurie Acker: 30:55

and he wasn't rushing to get to the next big thing either.

Aimee Nelson: 30:59

That's right. That's why he had time to teach a parable walking through a great vineyard, you know what I mean, where he can tell us to abide, because he never missed an opportunity to impact someone's life, letting people know that they have seen, known and heard,

Laurie Acker: 31:14

yeah, yeah, good stuff. Amen. And if that's all we do, that's pretty good,

Aimee Nelson: 31:20

that's more than enough, right? Amen.

Laurie Acker: 31:24

Amy, thanks. Thanks for being with us. He is a good God. Thanks for being with us today. Amy, we will see you at the conference, and you all make sure to check out in the show notes. We will drop the the link to the nonprofit that Amy serves in. And if you want to get in touch with Amy, hang out in our Facebook community. She's around. I'll make sure you know how to tag her. Yes,

Aimee Nelson: 31:47

and then I pay attention and I catch it, because Laurie, you're so good at that. Thank you. Thank you again, Laurie, I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep saying it for we're here because you said yes. Everybody else did too, but you said yes. So I'm grateful for you, my friend, and for creating space. Well,

Laurie Acker: 32:02

thanks, Amy. We will talk to you again soon. So Everybody until next week, be a light. You.